The first thing I distinctly remember from this morning is the water in the shower not being warm enough, and me thinking, "Crap, we ran out of hot water." Then I adjusted it (eyes half-open) and it warmed up to my usual temperature.
I don't remember actually turning the water on. I also don't remember walking into the bathroom and turning on the light. I sort of remember Dad telling me that it was time to go to school, but I couldn't tell you anything about that, except that I vaguely remember that something like that might have happened.
Anyway, I showered and got dressed. While getting dressed, I looked at my clock to see how much time I had until I had to go to school, and it said 2:33.
hmm... the power must have gone off last night. (nevermind that the clock wasn't blinking.)
So I finished dressing, and started to go downstairs, realizing that it was really dark outside, and there were no lights on inside at all. So I look at my phone, see that it really is 2:33... and crawl back into bed.
AH. My body doesn't want me to get a good night's sleep.
I've only done anything like that once before, when I was really little. I was staying at Grandmommy's house, and I woke up in the dark green chair she has (really comfortable, think overstuffed rocking chair with a corduroy surface). I was wearing dark green plaid pajamas, so I guess I blended in with the chair, but I woke up and Grandmommy was looking for me. Like, walking right past me looking for me. I have no idea how I got there...
Oh well.
It's been a sort of a tiring day. The whole wierd-night-of-sleep thing didn't quite hit me until third period. Then I took a nap in fourth.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Oklahoma
So, I have decided upon the University of Oklahoma for college. Whenever I tell people this, they inevitably say something along these lines:
"Oklahoma?!?!?!?!? But... that's so far away!"
(Because I was unaware of this.)
"Why Oklahoma? What could possibly be out there?"
(A good school, for one thing. A fantastic Native American culture. Oklahoma City, and the restaurant Abuelo's. A whole new place that I haven't explored yet, so ask me that question AFTER I come back from being out there for awhile.)(Also, consider the very likely possibility that if a high-school student in Oklahoma announced to his friends that he wanted to go to UNC-Chapel Hill, they'd probably say something to the effect of, "North Carolina? What could possibly be out there?" We all know that there is plenty out here, so the question does not merit asking simply because you are unfamiliar with the area.)
And inevitably...
"OOOOOOOOOOOKlahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain..."
(Please understand that I abhor the musical "Oklahoma." I, who love musical theatre, think it should not have been written. You are hardly the first person who has made this connection, and I'd appreciate not being reminded every two seconds that I'm going to a state that has a musical written about it.)
(Some people have even said variations on the theme of "Are there actually gay people in Oklahoma?" Really, people? Not the reason to choose a college. And besides... It's COLLEGE. There are gay people at college. It just kind of happens that way. Besides, there's a musical theatre school... did I say that out loud? Oops.)
However, they are right when they say it is very far away. This has been kind of a difficult decision to make, because I have so many people here who I will miss deeply. Especially considering the fact that I JUST met many people who I care about deeply this past summer at Governor's School, and had initially hoped that I might be going to college with some of them, so I could continue to cultivate those relationships. And now I'm faced with the prospect of going to a school where absolutely nobody knows who I am. While that sort of anonymity has its appeal in a way, the thing that you must realize is that I have NEVER been somewhere where nobody knew who I was for more than a week. I'm kind of afraid. I have this option to recreate myself if I should so desire, and I'm completely unsure about what I might want to put on such a canvas.
Where I go to college is by far the largest decision I have made up to this point in my life. I think I have chosen well, but that doesn't necessarily make it any easier. I'm going to be going away, exploring what's out there in the world, and praying that I succeed in my first serious venture into independance.
I'm excited, but I'm also very nervous.
Please understand that I'll miss everyone, but I have to do this. P went to college in New York, and he now lives in Maryland, so it's not like I'll be the first person in my family to go far away after graduating high school. Granted, he had a very good reason for wanting to get very far away from home, but I feel that if I don't get out of my geographical location now, I never will. I do not want to live here my entire life. I love North Carolina, and even Davie County, despite how much I may complain about it, but I need to go find what else is out there. I don't want to be locked in for the rest of my life, and if I don't set out now, when will I?
I know that it can be difficult to stay in touch with someone who has moved far away, and friendships become a little bit awkward, but know that I still care about you all, and even if we do fall out of contact, I'm still going to think of you as my friend, and I always will.
There's so much more that I want to say, but I can't think of how to say it. Perhaps that's because it's 2 in the morning. At any rate, I'm going to go to bed, and try to make the most of the time I have left here at home before I have to go.
Goodnight everyone, and I love you.
"Oklahoma?!?!?!?!? But... that's so far away!"
(Because I was unaware of this.)
"Why Oklahoma? What could possibly be out there?"
(A good school, for one thing. A fantastic Native American culture. Oklahoma City, and the restaurant Abuelo's. A whole new place that I haven't explored yet, so ask me that question AFTER I come back from being out there for awhile.)(Also, consider the very likely possibility that if a high-school student in Oklahoma announced to his friends that he wanted to go to UNC-Chapel Hill, they'd probably say something to the effect of, "North Carolina? What could possibly be out there?" We all know that there is plenty out here, so the question does not merit asking simply because you are unfamiliar with the area.)
And inevitably...
"OOOOOOOOOOOKlahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain..."
(Please understand that I abhor the musical "Oklahoma." I, who love musical theatre, think it should not have been written. You are hardly the first person who has made this connection, and I'd appreciate not being reminded every two seconds that I'm going to a state that has a musical written about it.)
(Some people have even said variations on the theme of "Are there actually gay people in Oklahoma?" Really, people? Not the reason to choose a college. And besides... It's COLLEGE. There are gay people at college. It just kind of happens that way. Besides, there's a musical theatre school... did I say that out loud? Oops.)
However, they are right when they say it is very far away. This has been kind of a difficult decision to make, because I have so many people here who I will miss deeply. Especially considering the fact that I JUST met many people who I care about deeply this past summer at Governor's School, and had initially hoped that I might be going to college with some of them, so I could continue to cultivate those relationships. And now I'm faced with the prospect of going to a school where absolutely nobody knows who I am. While that sort of anonymity has its appeal in a way, the thing that you must realize is that I have NEVER been somewhere where nobody knew who I was for more than a week. I'm kind of afraid. I have this option to recreate myself if I should so desire, and I'm completely unsure about what I might want to put on such a canvas.
Where I go to college is by far the largest decision I have made up to this point in my life. I think I have chosen well, but that doesn't necessarily make it any easier. I'm going to be going away, exploring what's out there in the world, and praying that I succeed in my first serious venture into independance.
I'm excited, but I'm also very nervous.
Please understand that I'll miss everyone, but I have to do this. P went to college in New York, and he now lives in Maryland, so it's not like I'll be the first person in my family to go far away after graduating high school. Granted, he had a very good reason for wanting to get very far away from home, but I feel that if I don't get out of my geographical location now, I never will. I do not want to live here my entire life. I love North Carolina, and even Davie County, despite how much I may complain about it, but I need to go find what else is out there. I don't want to be locked in for the rest of my life, and if I don't set out now, when will I?
I know that it can be difficult to stay in touch with someone who has moved far away, and friendships become a little bit awkward, but know that I still care about you all, and even if we do fall out of contact, I'm still going to think of you as my friend, and I always will.
There's so much more that I want to say, but I can't think of how to say it. Perhaps that's because it's 2 in the morning. At any rate, I'm going to go to bed, and try to make the most of the time I have left here at home before I have to go.
Goodnight everyone, and I love you.
Monday, March 9, 2009
I dislike titles
I had auditions this weekend for all-state band. I found out the results today... (drumroll)
... and I didn't get in. On one hand, I'm disappointed because this is my last chance to make all state band. But on the other hand, I'm not phenomenally disappointed because it doesn't matter all that much. I'm going to college and it's going to be awesome. Speaking of college, dad suggested other double-major possibilities today: Economics or English. I think I'm pretty much set on going to OU. And yes, K. I will continue writing here. You can come visit whenever you want to :)
Psychologists think way too much. Some things simply do not need to be explained.
I will be glad when festival is over. You can only play three pieces of music for so long before you want to put them in a shredder. You know, for something called "festival," it's really not all that festive. It actually causes rather high levels of stress.
I wore flip-flops today, albeit briefly. I love when the weather starts to get warmer.
My shampoo is the same blue-green as his hair when I met him first. Why am I awkward?
... and I didn't get in. On one hand, I'm disappointed because this is my last chance to make all state band. But on the other hand, I'm not phenomenally disappointed because it doesn't matter all that much. I'm going to college and it's going to be awesome. Speaking of college, dad suggested other double-major possibilities today: Economics or English. I think I'm pretty much set on going to OU. And yes, K. I will continue writing here. You can come visit whenever you want to :)
Psychologists think way too much. Some things simply do not need to be explained.
I will be glad when festival is over. You can only play three pieces of music for so long before you want to put them in a shredder. You know, for something called "festival," it's really not all that festive. It actually causes rather high levels of stress.
I wore flip-flops today, albeit briefly. I love when the weather starts to get warmer.
My shampoo is the same blue-green as his hair when I met him first. Why am I awkward?
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Things I like
As promised, I'm writing about positive things.
Things that i like today:
(where did the button for a bulleted list go? hmm.)
the way your hair feels after you've conditioned it.
putting on clean jeans after you've just taken a shower.
the fact that the weather is getting warmer and breezier.
playing piano.
sharpies.
Beethoven sonatas.
classical public radio.
the paintings at my piano teacher's house by that artist I can never remember the name of.
Things that i like today:
(where did the button for a bulleted list go? hmm.)
the way your hair feels after you've conditioned it.
putting on clean jeans after you've just taken a shower.
the fact that the weather is getting warmer and breezier.
playing piano.
sharpies.
Beethoven sonatas.
classical public radio.
the paintings at my piano teacher's house by that artist I can never remember the name of.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
I intended to write another anonymous complaint, and then I realized that the only time I ever write on this thing is when I'm annoyed about something.
For that I am sorry. I promise, I do have good days. I actually generally enjoy life and the people around me. I'll try to write more positive, uplifting, and/or funny things.
But until then:
To the Trumpet player at all-state auditions today: NOBODY wants to hear you play your trumpet in a disgusting way that would make small children cry. Don't get me wrong: I like the sound of trumpets. However, intentionally playing as loud and high as you can just so you can "show off" is not appreciated by anybody in the room. Personally, I don't see WHY you would want people to think you play that way. It's irritating, and it makes you seem like a douche.
For that I am sorry. I promise, I do have good days. I actually generally enjoy life and the people around me. I'll try to write more positive, uplifting, and/or funny things.
But until then:
To the Trumpet player at all-state auditions today: NOBODY wants to hear you play your trumpet in a disgusting way that would make small children cry. Don't get me wrong: I like the sound of trumpets. However, intentionally playing as loud and high as you can just so you can "show off" is not appreciated by anybody in the room. Personally, I don't see WHY you would want people to think you play that way. It's irritating, and it makes you seem like a douche.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
obnoxious part 2
Additionally, it is improper to offer people a ride in a car that does not belong to you, especially when you haven't asked the driver and owner of said car first. I get that you want to spend time with your boyfriend, but if I wasn't already staying after school today to work on stuff with S, then it would not have been cool for you to ask me to stay after so you could go on your little impromptu date. And while the extra gas money was nice, his house is on the OTHER end of the county.
and I should have said no. It's absolutely my fault for not saying no and being a total pushover.
But no more.
Today sucked. I can't go to the Coldplay concert with C. I'm going to be at the beach.
And I have to learn the rest of the Quantz by Saturday... AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!
Goodnight.
and I should have said no. It's absolutely my fault for not saying no and being a total pushover.
But no more.
Today sucked. I can't go to the Coldplay concert with C. I'm going to be at the beach.
And I have to learn the rest of the Quantz by Saturday... AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!
Goodnight.
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