Locks

My dad got me a computer lock for my laptop for when I go off to college.
I messed it up, and now we don't know what the combination is.
It's a 4-digit combination lock. There are 1000 possibilities.

Today, I heard the entire life story of C from Chi Omega at UNC-Charlotte. She was K's cashier at Victoria's Secret (I don't see WHY I couldn't go to FYE with F instead of stay with K as she picked out a bra and panties... I had absolutely no input on the subject whatever) and she decided to tell her friend at the register the story of how the boy she's in love with messaged her on facebook. Not her boyfriend, but the boy she's in love with. Anyway, they were both voted to have the best hair of their respective genders on campus, and so they're going to have fabulous-hair babies. He's blonde, and he's in a fraternity that I forget the name of, and she was REALLY excited about this message, and the fact that he asked for her number, and that he texted her.

It was quite entertaining.

My blog is officially one year old.

*sigh*

Although familiarity brings a great level of comfort, it also brings great awkwardness at times.
Although I will grow to miss such familiarity, at the moment I weary of some of its less-appealing aspects... like the awkwardness that a social event can take on when two of the people present are having relationship issues that are less-than-secret.

I need sleep.

On Hell

Hell is McDonalds. With its overcrowdedness, long lines, less-than appealing food, and waiting THIRTY MINUTES for an iced mocha (while the masses of humanity pressed in on me with their greasy quarter-pounders with cheese and lukewarm apple turnovers) that ended up tasting like shit once I actually got it.
Oh, and they were out of napkins. We had to use industrial-size, poor-quality toilet paper.
Let me tell you exactly how well that cleans up a dropped cup of iced coffee, courtesy of my father.

I saw my little brother today for what is probably the last time before I go off to college.
I can't help but think that I've been to hard on him. I mean, God knows that he behaves SO inappropriately such a great deal of the time, so it's not like I'm not justified... but still.

As I saw him climb into that gray minivan, I couldn't help but watch through the blinds, seeing the woman who I have hated for so long... and yet I can't anymore. I look out, and I see her with him, and she clearly loves him. She wants what's best for him, she's just so misguided about it that she's bungling up so much. I can't help but feel sorry for her. As she stood there in her windbreaker and jeans, flipping her hair behind her... she's pathetic. She wants so badly to be significant. I just... can't say exactly what I feel about her, but it's not hate. I can't hate her when I see her.

I want a Steve.

AH it stopped. Make it go! It can't stop like that! NOOOOOOOO.

*ahem* I've kind of gotten into this webcomic that my friend J introduced me to.
Check it out.
http://www.khaoskomix.com/home.html

Hmm.

I keep coming back to her poetry. I really want to take it and set it to music, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to do it justice, considering my complete lack of experience.

I really hope it works out that I get to see her before I leave.

Banana Boats

Sometimes I say bad words. I'm sorry you have to find this out in such a way, but shit (gasp) happens.
I went on a banana boat ride today with my little brother, and I fell off twice. Despite this, it was actually pretty fun. But the second time I fell off, I was clinging to the handle while leaning sideways, trying to grip the thing with my knees, evidently cursing as I tried to pull myself back up.
I wasn't even really aware of it until after I fell off, as I was climbing back on, when my little brother asked me why I was saying bad words.
Of course, he told his mother... and Dad. Who just told me that I need to clean up my language, and that it's nothing to be proud of.

College will be here in nine days. College will be here in nine days. College will be here in nine days.

We ate at Abuelo's tonight! Turns out the one in Oklahoma isn't the only one that's out there.
I had the most amazing stuffed chicken medallions ever. And, of course, Tres Leches Cake.

I've actually made an effort to be in the sun this week. This is not my usual behavior. However, after seeing lots of people with blotchy skin, and hearing about N's melanoma patient... I'm a little bit paranoid. I've been very careful with sunscreen. I do have this nice little tan, though.
I don't really understand why everybody seems to think that being pale is a bad thing. I mean, I can understand not wanting to look like you've spent your entire life inside without ever having seen the sun, but I don't understand society's fascination with bronze skin. I mean, it's interesting, bu it's not necessarily more attractive than the skin complexion of, say, someone who lives in the arctic circle.

I'm reading a book called The Worldly Philosophers. OU sent it to me, and it's about the lives and ideas of the major philosophers from Adam Smith on. But here's the weird part... It's actually really interesting. I mean, I would have never thought that a book about economics would be so fascinating. I must say, though, that it isn't the typical beach read.

Dumb

I've been very impressed with my noise-canceling headphones. They don't completely cancel the sound, but I didn't really expect them to. They muffled the extra noises very well. Well, imagine my surprise when I found the battery compartment today. I opened it, finding it to be completely empty.

That's right, I hadn't even turned on the noise canceling headphones. The only reason the sound was muffled was because the foam around them muffled it.

Yes, I am dumb. This may be as bad as the time I went around a full day with my underwear on backwards without ever noticing it. I'm going to go to sleep now, because I'm getting up at 8:30 tomorrow to go running with my sister.

For the Bible Tells Me So

I finally got around to watching "For the Bible Tells Me So." It's a very good movie.
But as I was watching it, I was thinking...
There are so many people I encounter who think that my homosexuality is a choice. Naturally, I think such an idea is ridiculous. Why would I choose to be something that invites scorn, rejection, and possible bodily harm?
There are just as many people who think I should simply ignore my "urges" and lead a "conventional" lifestyle with a woman. To those people, I suggest the following:

Spend the rest of your life writing with your left hand.
If you're left-handed, use your right hand.

Many people would react negatively to my proposition. I don't understand why.
I mean, what's so terrible about behaving in a way contrary to what makes you comfortable, simply because someone else wants you to? It's not as if you should expect to follow the course of action that comes naturally to you. Certainly it might be difficult at first, but you can adjust. So what if your penmanship never quite gains that thoughtless ease that it used to have when you wrote with the hand you were most suited to? You should ignore your "urges" to conform with what others demand from you at the cost of personal comfort.

Perhaps this can illustrate a little bit of what I feel when people suggest that I can simply "change" or "deal with a little bit of discomfort." I don't doubt that I could, should I so desire, live a "normal" life with a wife and children, ignoring the fact that I am sexually and romantically attracted to men. My objections do not lie in any doubt that I am capable of performing these acts, because I can. But why should I be expected to? Even if, as some people believe, it is immoral (oddly enough, a term applied to lefties in the not-so-distant past), frankly it's none of your damn business whether or not I'm attracted to men. If homosexuals are in fact cast into the deepest pits of hell (which I firmly disbelieve), then it's MY eternal soul at stake, not yours. So kindly leave me alone about it.

I'm sick and tired of having to gloss over that little aspect of my life simply because it makes people I care about uncomfortable. I mean, I'm not going to shove it in your face if it does make you uncomfortable, because I care about whatever relationship we may have. However, don't expect me to pretend it's not there just so you can live in your perfect little world, especially when you already know. Grow up.

I kind of feel like I should be doing more to promote equality and stuff, but I really don't know what to do. Being 18 has quite a few limits attached to it... not least of which the fact that most people dismiss you as "yet another teenager."

At any rate, here's the movie should you choose to watch it. I highly recommend it. However, bear in mind that it's an hour and forty minutes long, so make sure you have the time before you go clicking on it.
For the Bible Tells Me So

In related news, evidently I sing out loud sometimes without realizing it.