Clarification

I ignored this blog for over a month. For this, I apologize. It was indirectly in response to an event that occurred last semester, in which a person whom I don't care to have communication with attempted to contact me by commenting a post I had written as a letter to that person. Although the format of the post might make it seem like I was inviting this person to respond, I was actually venting here, because I considered it to be a healthy outlet. When I saw her comment, I deleted the entire post, which is against my personal philosophy about things that I write. Everything I had written in that post was truthful, and accurately described the frustration and anger I was feeling at the time, but by deleting that post, I censored myself, as if I were ashamed of what I had written.

If the person in question is reading this, let me make one thing clear: I am not ashamed of what I said; I meant every word. My split-second decision to delete that post about you was out of misplaced frustration that you would attempt to contact me after I made it very clear that I never wanted to hear from you again. In no way was that action a retraction of what I had said.

To everyone else reading: I apologize. Although the content of my blog may not impact your life, I feel that by retroactively censoring what I have written I have somehow let you down. I won't do it again.

PS: I also did it a few weeks ago when I decided to undertake a 30-day writing challenge, got 2 days in, and decided that I didn't want to do the challenge anymore. That was just me getting bored. Again, sorry.

Aleatoric

Click this for a really cool musical experience.

My friend Cat posted that today, and I listened to it, and it reminded me a lot of Sigur Ros, who I've only recently started to get into. However, the unmetered feel to the music puts me into a very serene state. Maybe I should investigate similar creations.

Anyway. We're about to have family dinner at my apartment, which means free food! Life is good.

Estrellita

While doing a little bit of research on Charlie Siem, I found a recording of him playing Manuel Ponce's Estrellita. This song is absolutely gorgeous, but it was originally written for voice and piano. I'm having a bit of trouble locating the sheet music for it, but a request to Interlibrary Loan should help me out there. It's a gorgeous piece, and I'm hoping that I'll be able to sing it sometime in my voice lessons.

My US History class right now is excruciating. I enjoy learning about history, but the graduate "instructor" whose class I'm enrolled in is a less-than-acclaimed lecturer. That said, we have an oral history assignment in the class, in which we are supposed to collect an oral history from someone. I've decided to interview my voice professor about what it was like to be a classical musician during the civil rights movement. I'm pretty sure he was studying at the Metropolitan Opera when Marian Anderson became the first black person to perform there, so I'm hoping that he got the chance to meet her.

At any rate, I've started reading about her. I've checked out Raymond Arsenault's The Sound of Freedom: Marian Anderson, the Lincoln Memorial, and the Concert That Awakened America, and Anderson's autobiography, My Lord What a Morning. I've started reading both of them, and so far they're very interesting. It's further inspired me to have a huge music library when I have a house one day: not just a library of recordings and sheet music, but a library of books about music.

I've been wrestling with a dilemma lately: I really love the piano, but I also really love singing. Now that I'm studying under a teacher with whom I have meshed, I'm really interested in continuing those studies. However, I'm also interested in taking organ lessons here, because we've got such a strong organ program. The only problem is that I can't take three lessons at once: it would be overtaxing and I wouldn't ever talk to anybody ever again for learning so much music. The only thing I can think of that would resolve the dilemma is to stop taking piano lessons after my junior year of college to pick up the organ my senior year. This might seem counterintuitive, since the piano is my primary instrument. However, the degree plan I'm on only requires six semesters of lessons on your primary instrument, so I wouldn't be breaking any rules.

Thoughts? I have really enjoyed my progress on the piano over the last year and a half, but I would hate to miss the opportunity to study organ here.

WHY didn't I learn to play the violin?

One of my Christmas presents was a subscription to BBC Music magazine, which is like the Entertainment Weekly of classical music. Because I love classical music the way most of my peers like country, rap, rock, and pop music, this was the perfect gift for me. Each issue comes with a CD, and all of the latest news and gossip within the classical music world.

My first issue came the other day, and it has an ad on the front inside cover for Charlie Siem's debut album. That's him above. I am beyond thrilled to see a classical soloist performing in a formal setting dressed in informal clothing. I wrote a whole research paper on the topic for my expository writing class last year, discussing how I hoped that this would become more and more acceptable.

That said, I also hope that we can get past the age of the-complete-works-of. So many recitals and CD's I see now consist of all of the works that a specific composer wrote in a specific genre. And as helpful as that is if you're trying to find a recording of a specific piece, it doesn't make for a very interesting album. My favorite classical albums are very diverse in their selections. I'll write more about this another time, because I want to go to bed soon, and I still have one more thing to discuss...

WHY didn't I learn to play the violin? It's so portable, it's so beautiful to listen to, and there are a bajillion orchestras out there. In another video, Seim discusses how he believes a violinist should be able to take his violin out and perform anywhere he goes. It totally makes sense: spontaneous performance keeps the joy of music alive in a person's soul, and it also helps you prove to yourself that you have prepared your music adequately. Unfortunately, my primary instrument, the piano, is the second least-portable instrument I can think of (the first being the pipe organ). If there's not a piano available to play somewhere, then I'm out of luck. Further, I can't walk around playing my instrument in a whimsical fashion. As much as I like being able to play more than one independent line of music at a time with relative ease, there is that fundamental lack of mobility that irks me so.

Also, boys who can play the violin are hot. Just look at him.

Inception- and notebook checks

I just watched Inception last night, and it was SOOO awesome. And then I saw this nifty youtube video, and I realized just how much more of an awesome movie it was than I ever realized.

I have to do these notebook checks for my education classes, and they're STUPID. Like, some of the things we're supposed to put into our notebooks haven't even been posted for us to download yet, and they're due in a few hours. In addition to that... it's a notebook check. Really? We're in college. If we can't be expected to keep track of all of the materials we've gone over for a class, then why are we even here?

I auditioned for Drum major. I did not make finalist. Although this is disappointing and I was bummed for like five minutes, I am satisfied with who the finalists are, and I think that any of the three would be successful drum majors. Also, I have high hopes for next year.

Today, I had a teaching episode for which I was entirely unprepared. I made the executive decision to not attend my first two classes to figure out what I was going to do... went in with fragments of a plan... and suddenly, standing in front of the ensemble, everything clicked. I knew exactly what I was going to do in the rehearsal, and I knew how to effectively do so. For the first time, I felt like a teacher. That said, I still don't want to stay an education major. But I'd been very frustrated with my inability to do the things I saw my peers doing, so I was extremely satisfied to see things come together.

This is what the semester has decided to do for every single person I know:

The semester is like a child. It gets excited towards the beginning because everything is new and fun! But then it gets tired and doesn't want to play anymore. However, you have to keep going with this child in tow, and it becomes more and more unhappy. At the point I'm at right now, the child has sat down on the ground and is kicking and screaming, throwing a temper tantrum in front of everyone who is watching you barely keep your act together, and it claws at the carpet to gain traction against you as you hold the semester by the ankles and drag it with increasing difficulty to the finish line. You cannot let the semester win. You cannot let the semester have its way because it will destroy you.

There are two things in life that irritate me to the core: pretentiousness and uselessness.

However, when they exist in combination... Oh my GOD.

When you think you're amazing... and you're not... it drives me up the WALL.

Reminiscing

I have never been so glad to see a unit of education pass as I have been to see this semester come to a close. Two more weeks, and I am DONE with these classes.

I started going through my facebook profile, and looking at various status updates that I've had throughout the semester... and I realize that as stressful/hectic/busy/omg/asdfasdflkasdflka/getmeoutofhere as this semester has been, I am surrounded by amazing friends, and I couldn't have ever accomplished anything without them.

I love you guys.

One of those friends made this video about me. It's pretty funny; I thought I should share.