Inception- and notebook checks

I just watched Inception last night, and it was SOOO awesome. And then I saw this nifty youtube video, and I realized just how much more of an awesome movie it was than I ever realized.

I have to do these notebook checks for my education classes, and they're STUPID. Like, some of the things we're supposed to put into our notebooks haven't even been posted for us to download yet, and they're due in a few hours. In addition to that... it's a notebook check. Really? We're in college. If we can't be expected to keep track of all of the materials we've gone over for a class, then why are we even here?

I auditioned for Drum major. I did not make finalist. Although this is disappointing and I was bummed for like five minutes, I am satisfied with who the finalists are, and I think that any of the three would be successful drum majors. Also, I have high hopes for next year.

Today, I had a teaching episode for which I was entirely unprepared. I made the executive decision to not attend my first two classes to figure out what I was going to do... went in with fragments of a plan... and suddenly, standing in front of the ensemble, everything clicked. I knew exactly what I was going to do in the rehearsal, and I knew how to effectively do so. For the first time, I felt like a teacher. That said, I still don't want to stay an education major. But I'd been very frustrated with my inability to do the things I saw my peers doing, so I was extremely satisfied to see things come together.

This is what the semester has decided to do for every single person I know:

The semester is like a child. It gets excited towards the beginning because everything is new and fun! But then it gets tired and doesn't want to play anymore. However, you have to keep going with this child in tow, and it becomes more and more unhappy. At the point I'm at right now, the child has sat down on the ground and is kicking and screaming, throwing a temper tantrum in front of everyone who is watching you barely keep your act together, and it claws at the carpet to gain traction against you as you hold the semester by the ankles and drag it with increasing difficulty to the finish line. You cannot let the semester win. You cannot let the semester have its way because it will destroy you.

There are two things in life that irritate me to the core: pretentiousness and uselessness.

However, when they exist in combination... Oh my GOD.

When you think you're amazing... and you're not... it drives me up the WALL.

Reminiscing

I have never been so glad to see a unit of education pass as I have been to see this semester come to a close. Two more weeks, and I am DONE with these classes.

I started going through my facebook profile, and looking at various status updates that I've had throughout the semester... and I realize that as stressful/hectic/busy/omg/asdfasdflkasdflka/getmeoutofhere as this semester has been, I am surrounded by amazing friends, and I couldn't have ever accomplished anything without them.

I love you guys.

One of those friends made this video about me. It's pretty funny; I thought I should share.

Auditions

The semester is running screaming towards the brick wall that is Finals Week. I feel it getting here faster and faster, and I welcome its arrival with open arms. I will dominate the brick wall of Finals Week and come out the other side unscathed, prepared to take a long, well-deserved nap.

On tap before this week ends: Tomorrow, OU plays Nebraska in the Big XII championship. This will take place at the Dallas Cowboys Stadium. I'm so freaking excited to go back there.

Over the past three days, the following events interfered with my noble intentions to practice and prepare for my juries:

• Friday- Young Men's Vocal Workshop. one day a year, the School of Music opens its doors to about 900 middle and high school boys. They attend choir clinics based on whether or not their voice has changed, is currently changing, or has not yet changed. Half of the classes for the day are canceled- all choir classes, many of the education classes, and orchestra rehearsal. Today, I herded a group of 6th and 7th graders from the music building to the stadium for a group picture. If there was ever a reinforcing moment to tell me that switching out of education was a good idea, it was this one. Oh, and I cleaned my room tonight.
• Thursday- Christmas Choir concert. Pride rehearsal ended at 6:30, call was at 7. This concert took place on the 4th day after we came back from Thanksgiving break. I knew the concert was on the 2nd... I didn't realize the 2nd came so quickly after we got back. After the concert, I set up risers for the aforementioned Young Men's Vocal Workshop, and on my way back to my apartment, I got pulled over. A terrifying experience that I hope to never repeat. I didn't get a ticket, though.
• Wednesday- Essay. We had a final essay due in Intro to Music Education, and I had to finish writing it.
• And all of these days- preparing for the drum major auditions that begin on Monday.

I am so excited about these auditions. I feel really strongly about my letter of introduction, and my conducting has improved (thank you, Michael Giacchino, for writing such an awesome- but challenging- score to the Incredibles. Did I mention challenging? They aren't joking around with this audition), and I feel like my strut is mostly suitable for public consumption.

Let's hope that everyone else feels the same way.

I'm picking songs right now to help me pick the tempos 80bpm and 152bpm out of thin air... right now I've got Beyonce's Halo for 80, and Don't Rain on My Parade for 152.

I'm so excited.

I want to be drum major so bad.

Waiting

I am waiting out the semester. If I can just get through to the end of the semester, I can achieve anything I ever want to. I can move past the education classes that, although they are interesting, have eaten my life; I can move on to get a job; I can move on to start learning the concerto I want to enter into next year's concerto competition.

So many things. But right now I'm fighting to achieve the bare minimum to get through the end of the semester intact.

At the beginning of my freshman year, someone tole me that musicians were particularly prone to mental health problems.

I think she may have been right. I look around me at my classmates and I see anxiety, bitterness, and resentment.

Don't get me wrong, I see a lot of good things, too, but I see anxiety, bitterness, and resentment every day. I only hope that I can maintain the positive outlook on life that I feel I have maintained thus far.