I hate titles.

This actually is not true. I'm writing an essay for my Expository Writing class (the one that I pulled the all-nighter for? yeah. still working on it. Because in Expo you write one essay like seventy trillion jillion times) and I feel like the title and the introduction are the best parts of it.

THEME FOR MY LIFE: I cannot, Cannot, CANNOT write an ending in the way deemed necessary for academic writing. It's simply beyond my capabilities. I'm sitting here, staring at my argument... and I cannot think of a single way to write an ending. This is something that has been a problem since high school.

I especially have trouble because the ending is supposed to "restate your introduction" in new terms... and I feel freaking stupid when I do that. No, that's inaccurate. I don't feel stupid, I feel like I'm insulting the reader:

"By the way, this is what I just told you. I don't think you're intelligent enough to know what I said I was going to tell you at the beginning, and what I just spent four pages telling you. So I'm going to beat it into your head with a brick ONE MORE TIME because CLEARLY you're too stupid to understand me."

Do you see how this will not win friends and influence people?

So evidently there is another class I need to be enrolled in at the moment: Field Experience for Teaching Techniques.

I'm gonna go get on that tomorrow. Or, I'll try to. I don't know when I'll be able to do that, since I'm pretty sure I won't be able to go over to the dean's office 'til after they've closed. ALSO, evidently that's not where I'm supposed to go, because when I submitted my add/drop form for Teaching Techniques, they were all like, "Oh, you don't go to us. You go somewhere else." Only I don't know where to go.

SOMEONE ELSE WORK OUT THE TECHNICAL PORTION OF MY DEGREE PLAN. I'll make the grades and do the assignments and practice and stuff, just someone else figure out where I'm supposed to be and when.

I really hope that FoTech has the GenEd's I'll need.

God, I pray the man I end up with one day is both naturally organized AND will help keep me the same way in a manner that leaves us both not wanting to strangle each other.

Is this blogging thing supposed to be coherent? I ramble a lot on this thing.

I sort of treat it like free therapy.

Hell, I don't even know if I want to be a teacher yet. I think I'd be good at it. I think it's something that I would enjoy and that it would bring me satisfaction, but I still don't know if that's what I want to do with my life.

I wish my essays were like this blog: scattered thoughts that kind of make sense. Abstract thought is so much more satisfying.

I don't know when I'm going to go meet with the people who can help me with this whole...... THING.

I don't even know what to call it.

God, I'm so angsty right now. I didn't know the freak-out-about-stuff part of me existed quite this extensively.