Monday, June 29, 2009

Indian trails

My friend, K, is going to the naval academy. I'm so incredibly proud of him, but during the course of the party he mentioned that one of the other guests walks the same "Indian path" as me. He said this in a very conspiratorial tone, and although he understood that the guy wasn't really my type, the terminology he chose amuses me to end. Indian path? Really?
Naturally, this conjures images of me wandering through the woods, looking for someone walking along the same path. Of course, there's another path several miles to the right with tons and tons of people walking on it, to the point that all the plants have been trampled asunder... and then there are the people wandering between the two paths, sometimes tripping over rocks and tree roots and stuff...

I wish people wore name tags that told you whether or not they found you attractive.

Anyway, at the party I remembered my crush on K's brother A and their friend T. And I had to remind myself once again that crushing for straight guys isn't all that productive. I need an "off" button.

I generally try to steer clear of this whole subject. I'm really very comfortable with my sexuality... what I'm not comfortable with is other people's discomfort. And since several of my family members would most likely be uncomfortable with my sexuality, I try not to bring it up. The problem stems from the fact that I'm too non-confrontational and I worry too much about what other people (not people in general, just the people I know) think of me.
Although, I don't want to have to hide my long-term boyfriend when I have one... Hmm. Would bringing him to the extended family's Christmas lunch be awkward? Most likely. But it won't be the first time a long-term significant other has come to lunch... Hmm. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
I hope he'll be up to it. I'm sure he'll be up to it. He'll charm them with his clever wit and gentlemanly behavior, and all the girl cousins will be jealous that he's gay. I can picture it now... Please excuse me while I ignore reality for the sake of developing my hallmark card scenario.
At any rate, I'm going to college and I might be able to actually have a romantic relationship without worrying about the family reputation... isn't that crazy?

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