The classic Emo Post

GSE Nostalgia attacked me today. We had honors chorus auditions today, and the audition piece, "Sure on This Shining Night" by Morten Lauridsen, was sung by the GSE chorus. I saw a street called Carr Street. I saw Kiyoshi. I saw (of all things) The Grizzly Man at the video store today. The video store that wasn't carrying the two movies I was looking for that we watched at Governor's school.

I miss it painfully. Senior year has been rather underwhelming: now that I've seen the sheer awesomeness that humanity can achieve, the petty drama holds even less appeal. For those who haven't been, I don't expect you to really get just how amazing it was. For those who have, I know you're going through the same thing I am right now, so perhaps that makes it a little bit better, to know that we're commiserating. I just really want to see the many people I miss desperately.

College is looming. In addition to having to decide where to go, I also have to decide what my primary instrument will be.

May God have mercy upon my soul.

So I have to prepare three college auditions: Piano, Flute, and Voice.

In two months.

With not enough practice time.

Again, May God have mercy upon my soul.

And this audition is one that REALLY matters.

Like... for the rest of my life matters.

When I go to college, Kayla's going to go to a different college. I'm going to miss her. I don't know how that's going to work. Ideally, I'd like for us to stay friends, but I don't know how that will play out. I get that sometimes friends drift when they're separated for long periods of time. While I would rather that not happen for us, I don't know if it's going to be avoidable.

And that really sucks, because Kayla's my best friend in the whole world. I don't know what I'm going to do.

I want a boyfriend. I want a boyfriend. I want a boyfriend.

I want a boyfriend. I want a boyfriend. I want a boyfriend.

More specifically, I want a boyfriend who likes me, who I like back. Preferably a musician, so he'll understand when I disappear to practice. And preferably liking classical music, so he'll like going to see symphony orchestras with me. Preferably someone who wants me emotionally, mentally, and physically. If he likes horror/gorefest movies, he's got to be able to deal with me freaking out about them next to him. Tall is nice. Same size is also nice, especially if he has clothes I like. Muscles are nice. Singing bass is nice. Being able to sing well is nice. Having good taste in stuff in general is nice. Getting along with my friends and family is a MUST.

Cute/hot is nice, too.

As is geographical proximity.

I want a boyfriend. I want a boyfriend. I want a boyfriend.

I get that this will probably not happen 'til college.

BUT that doesn't make the wait any more pleasant.

Gah. Sorry to complain so much.