This is YOUR fault.

You and your BRILLIANT ideas. You know, if you'd just kept your mouth shut, I wouldn't be in this situation. This was working out fine, and then you decided to make things "better." Well, thanks. Now I'm going to have to choose one of my friends over the other, and that's going to hurt. Or I could choose neither, and they'll BOTH get hurt. FML.

See, this would be a lot easier if people would agree on what I should do. Like, I think I know what I should do, but I'm still running it by people to get outside perspectives... and they don't agree with each other.
Not even close. Like, they take the same facts, say some of the same basic things while working out what they think I should do, and then come up with COMPLETELY different suggestions.

Jeez,I feel like I'm having an affair. I can't even imagine how someone could WILLINGLY enter this sort of situation.

See what you did? You've got me upset over the plight of minor fictitious characters again. Nobody is going to explain to that poor girl why he left her all of a sudden for the girl he was meant to be with. She's going to go home and wonder why she was turned down with no explanation at all. It's not your fault, Jenny!

It's not my fault...

Just shut up next time. Kay? I'd really appreciate it.