So, I have decided upon the University of Oklahoma for college. Whenever I tell people this, they inevitably say something along these lines:
"Oklahoma?!?!?!?!? But... that's so far away!"
(Because I was unaware of this.)
"Why Oklahoma? What could possibly be out there?"
(A good school, for one thing. A fantastic Native American culture. Oklahoma City, and the restaurant Abuelo's. A whole new place that I haven't explored yet, so ask me that question AFTER I come back from being out there for awhile.)(Also, consider the very likely possibility that if a high-school student in Oklahoma announced to his friends that he wanted to go to UNC-Chapel Hill, they'd probably say something to the effect of, "North Carolina? What could possibly be out there?" We all know that there is plenty out here, so the question does not merit asking simply because you are unfamiliar with the area.)
"OOOOOOOOOOOKlahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain..."
(Please understand that I abhor the musical "Oklahoma." I, who love musical theatre, think it should not have been written. You are hardly the first person who has made this connection, and I'd appreciate not being reminded every two seconds that I'm going to a state that has a musical written about it.)
(Some people have even said variations on the theme of "Are there actually gay people in Oklahoma?" Really, people? Not the reason to choose a college. And besides... It's COLLEGE. There are gay people at college. It just kind of happens that way. Besides, there's a musical theatre school... did I say that out loud? Oops.)
However, they are right when they say it is very far away. This has been kind of a difficult decision to make, because I have so many people here who I will miss deeply. Especially considering the fact that I JUST met many people who I care about deeply this past summer at Governor's School, and had initially hoped that I might be going to college with some of them, so I could continue to cultivate those relationships. And now I'm faced with the prospect of going to a school where absolutely nobody knows who I am. While that sort of anonymity has its appeal in a way, the thing that you must realize is that I have NEVER been somewhere where nobody knew who I was for more than a week. I'm kind of afraid. I have this option to recreate myself if I should so desire, and I'm completely unsure about what I might want to put on such a canvas.
Where I go to college is by far the largest decision I have made up to this point in my life. I think I have chosen well, but that doesn't necessarily make it any easier. I'm going to be going away, exploring what's out there in the world, and praying that I succeed in my first serious venture into independance.
I'm excited, but I'm also very nervous.
Please understand that I'll miss everyone, but I have to do this. P went to college in New York, and he now lives in Maryland, so it's not like I'll be the first person in my family to go far away after graduating high school. Granted, he had a very good reason for wanting to get very far away from home, but I feel that if I don't get out of my geographical location now, I never will. I do not want to live here my entire life. I love North Carolina, and even Davie County, despite how much I may complain about it, but I need to go find what else is out there. I don't want to be locked in for the rest of my life, and if I don't set out now, when will I?
I know that it can be difficult to stay in touch with someone who has moved far away, and friendships become a little bit awkward, but know that I still care about you all, and even if we do fall out of contact, I'm still going to think of you as my friend, and I always will.
There's so much more that I want to say, but I can't think of how to say it. Perhaps that's because it's 2 in the morning. At any rate, I'm going to go to bed, and try to make the most of the time I have left here at home before I have to go.
Goodnight everyone, and I love you.
1 day ago